Dream Big 129

I was so hoping that by the time I wrote this I would have had some kind of good news to report, but alas I haven’t any. Since the Dream Big show has been on break, I am writing the column once per week instead of every other when we were airing new episodes. I feel as though I am running out of things to write about, and it may be because nothing has really happened within a week’s time. Although, nothing good has occurred to inspire celebratory words of gratitude; I am currently only receiving words of rejection, and I don’t want to be a Debbie downer.

Dream Big is all about the inspiration to chase your dreams no matter what, and I can’t very well achieve such a goal if I am being negative about my own dreams. I suppose I could writing about my current situation with my tires spinning on the road to success, but it seems as though I’m running out of gas with four flat tires. At least that is how I’m feeling at the moment. I have been ignoring as much of these feelings churning inside of me, the parasites of self-doubt and fear are trying to latch on, and I am without dewormer. I have managed to keep myself busy mentally by dunking my head into the sands of social media; at least there I can pretend that I am preoccupied. Technically I am busy with suck-starting my modeling career like a revolver; I just hope I don’t shoot myself in the stiletto pumps in doing so. It is scary for me to start over, or revamping myself in order to make a living, but I’m doing it, and hopefully I wont end up looking like a half-starved waif. The biggest hang up I'm having is trying to distract myself with is my fantasy romance novel that is currently on submission. A manuscript can go out to twenty different agents; it's all so subjective you know, but it may be only one of them like it, or none at all, and that’s when you know it could be dead in the slush-pile. When you reel it back in you have to take another really hard look at it to figure out what when wrong, and even then you could be too scared to throw it back out there. There are thousands of hungry agents out there waiting patiently for the next biggest meal ticket, some may even go hungry passing on even the most delectable of bites, and others are only willing to savor the flavors they love. I am completely and utterly uncertain of the rising waters I find myself dangerously swimming in, but I really wish someone would throw me a life preserver before I grow tired, and drown. I hope I don’t end up beaching myself as a last resort. I wouldn’t look much like a model then; all dead, bloated, and adorned with seaweed. I can’t think that way, nor can I presume its just another day at the beach. Oh how I would love a good vacation. But that is besides the point... I cant let my fears get the better of me, or let my dreams slip away, I have to hang on to them, and hope I get a lucky catch. No matter what don’t let your fears get the best of you, sometimes you have to jump right in to catch even the biggest of dreams. Hang on to them tight, don’t let the line break, and always dream big.