Dream Big 13

Time, we have all of it, and yet not enough of it. They say time is of the essence, but we don't actually own time we're ruled by it. Our daily activities are run by a clock, we're in constant "go mode". But how can we change that? I myself am in constant go mode, and like everyone else, I wish there were more time allotted in the day. I sometimes feel I need a clone, someone to do the work that needs to be done, which I don't feel like have time for. Or do I? I ask myself constantly. How can I create, or, for lack of a better word "budget" for time? It's simple really, I either have to give up something that I want to do, or I create a timetable, and place everything I want to accomplish within its own timeframe. We all face this dilemma, we work, we have families, we have creative goals that we want to accomplish, or have hobbies that we enjoy doing. But how do we fit in that R&R at the end of the day? The real question is. What is it that we have to give up, or ignore, or stop doing, in order to fit it all in? When do we know we are doing too much at once? Where is Stephan Hawking when you need him? I ask myself these questions every day when I wake up. I think about what it is that I have to do, what it is I have planned to do, and for the life of me I don't know. Every plan that I make goes off the rails like a runaway train. Sometimes I feel like I'm a bad person, a bad parent, or that I'm just plain bad to myself. Other times I don't feel so bad, I understand that the goals I set, are not just for me, but for my family too. Okay, so these goals are dreams, big dreams, dreams I've had since I was a child. The dreams I placed on a shelf with an expiration date that I left behind and had forgotten about. Yeah, I get it, life happens. You find the one, you have a family, you know, everything changes. It's not about you anymore, it's about them. But when is it about me? It's not, and then the guilt sets in. You want to have aspirations for yourself, but then you feel it takes away from them. But does it really have to? How can you manage to balance their needs and your needs? I've asked myself this time and time again, but without a proper answer. Guilt brings about fear and fear brings about the inability to be confident. If you're not confident in yourself others cannot be confident in you either. Whether it's your family, friends, coworkers, or just someone who you want to see your inner light, your creativity, in order to see you as you truly are, a diamond in the rough. We don't set these high expectations for ourselves just to amuse us, we set them high, but not to watch ourselves fall. So how do we keep our dreams up without our world falling down around us? The only logical answer here is time, we must learn to balance our time. I'm in constant turmoil with this answer, though it may be logical, it's difficult to make it happen. I know I must eliminate the problem, and to find a better way to balance work, home, and my goals with a select manner of managing all of it. We have the power to control time, well, control our "allotted" time anyway. In order for our goals to be completed we must give them time, time to mature along with the pressure. Eventually, we will have a diamond to show for it, even if it is a little rough around the edges. Isn't that what dreams are made from? We have our formula so let's dream big.