Today's column will seem more like a lesson plan than what it is actually meant to be about. But isn't life a lesson in itself? For example: my Fanboy Expo 2017 experience this past weekend set the bar high in such a lesson, and boy did I learn a hefty one...
The first lesson that I learned this weekend was taught by a little thing I like to call gambling. Now I know a few of you out there are already thinking that I must have lost my marbles somewhere during the expo. Obviously that wasn't the case because I am pretty sure that I am constructing complete sentences here, but that isn't my point of course. Anything that you choose to do in life requires one form or another of taking chances, or gambling if you will. I personally took a gamble by spending way more money than I had on merchandise for Dream Big. It simply wasn't what I needed to do this early in the game without anyone really knowing who I was, or what Dream Big was all about. Point being: I bought way more than what I needed, and only earned maybe 10% of what I had spent. Point taken, lesson one learned.
The second lesson I learned was not to worry what other people think of me, or have a panic attack when I see a former bully. Only a handful of you know the experiences I had with a certain individual who was bullying me about my show. This person had threatened me on several different occasions to quit Dream Big because I had stolen the idea from them. Of course I did not, and I tried to share the differences between what I did without gaining any positive reactions. Unfortunately, it continued and went as far as my personal self, and my family being threatened; by revealing slanderous rubbish about my being a former exotic dancer for twenty years. This is not old news, and I have no shame in where my humbled journey began; everyone has to work for a living. I just chose a job where I could feed my kids, pay my bills, live without being on food stamps, or welfare, and I paid my taxes like everyone else does; because being just a cosmetologist wasn't doing the job. I think because I lived in fear for the past several months of bumping into this person that I couldn't bring myself to go out to any venues like concerts, or movie screening, and or any other event that I thought they might be at. I have even been too afraid to say anything about this until now, because I have friends on social media who are friends with said individual. I will never out this person because that is not who I am, but I really felt that I had to let it go. I can not allow others to let this very thing, or anything similar to this type of bullying go on, it is not fair to anyone to experience this. I had to make a stand, if not to help others, but to help myself to heal. I have been bullied off and on my entire life, and I will not allow it to happen ever again. I can not be afraid of what others may think of me because they might find out the truth of what I used to do for a living. So what, are my fans going to judge me for surviving? If they do then that's ok. Are my friends going to judge me? Well then, obviously I don't need them as friends. Do I? No I don't. I need to take care of my babies first, and if the tax man doesn't care than neither should anyone else. Lol. Lesson learned: don't be afraid of what others think about you, let your light shine through their darkest of judgements, and let the pain go.
The third lesson I learned has been not only the greatest of all, but the most rewarding. I met the most amazing people at the Fanboy Expo that I will never forget, but I met a few not so incredible people too that I will never aspire to become. To me the most gracious human beings on the planet are the ones who choose to share words of wisdom, their light-energy, and the kindness you see when you look into the depths of their eyes. Those individuals who I made the sincerest of connections with will always have a glow in their hearts; I only hope I can be half of that on a good day. If anything I want to always share my light-energy with others who may look up to me someday. Words cannot express the joy I felt when being in contact with those I have encountered over the weekend, and it was my pleasure to have met them all. On the other side of the coin are those who were not as they would ever seem to be in real life. I understand the need to make money, but that is not all what life itself is about, and I felt let down inside. Why would anyone that lives in the public eye allow themselves to become that shallow? I hope that if I were to become some kind of diva someone would put me in my place where I stand. Lol. I honestly do not think I could ever become such a hot headed, selfish, inconsiderate, or narcissistic person at all. I feel guilty for killing bugs, and spiders; well I don't feel guilty for killing mosquitoes, who serve absolutely no purpose in the cycle of life, they only spread disease. But I digress. The point of this lesson is: be the light, and not become the darkness; the cookies are not any better there.
I truly hope that all of you can look past all of my faults, my sorted past, and see the light that shines within me. I am not without fault, I am not perfect, I am only human, and that is the greatest lesson there is to learn. Please share the light, and always dream big.