Life as we know it could change in an instant, whether it is because of an accident, or something else such as an opportunity you have only dreamt about. The funny thing is that in the blink of an eye even the smallest decisions can have the largest impact. Sometimes they can be a positive change, while others are left with a lifetime of regret. I have struggled with the various changes I have had in my lifetime thus far, and I know now that all the things I have set in motion will either be what moves my goals forward, or they will set them back so far that I won't be able to regain my footing. It's a scary thought in all actuality; the thought of losing everything I've worked so hard for, but on the flip side I could gain everything I've ever wanted in life. To be honest, my only true wish is to be able to do all the things I love, and still be able to earn a living without stress or worry that my bills won't get paid, or where the next meal will come from. I hate being on the fence about everything I'm trying to do. The only thing I can do is keep working hard, hope for the best, and pray I can keep my lights on.
The term sacrifice is not far from the truth. No matter how positive you try to be, or make it sound better, the phrase "starving artist" rolls off the tongue all too easily. I try so hard to not be a "negative Nancy" but it's so difficult to do when you find yourself in a state of despair. I understand that negative thoughts draws negative outcomes, but when you've tried and failed as many times as I have, the struggle is real. How can I be so down in the dumps when I'm the hostess of an inspirational show about other people's dreams? I will honestly say that it is because I'm only human. I think that's why I started Dream Big. It began with only what my dreams were, and became a diary of sorts on my journey to obtain them. This includes, my emotional ups and downs like every other person goes through. Example: my show currently is on YouTube, I hardly have any subscribers, I'm not getting the viewership I'd like to have, and I still have nobody that either wants to sponsor the show, or invest in it. But I have my Dream Team who believe in the show, I have friends and family who believe in the show, and I feel deep down in my gut that this show could really help others believe in themselves so they can go after their dreams too. That belief is the only thing that helps me keep going, and it's that belief that I have to keep alive no matter what happens. I can't let myself down, or the others who help carry the torch.
Over Dream Big's season break, I have yet to work on my novel. I'm not sure if I'm procrastinating, or if I've honestly been too busy to work on it. I was also hoping to have had gone out to pitch my show, and try to get sponsors, but I have not. I have spent most of the time working on booking the guests for the new season, so I at least feel accomplished on that end. I know it would be better for me to focus on my achievements more than what I haven't done, but when you have an equal balance of the two, you can't help but mention them both. The good, the bad, and the ugly are a complete package. Not everything we set out to do is sparkly rainbows, and fluffy kittens. There are setbacks, things that go wrong and can get pretty ugly if you ask me, but I do count them both in with the good because they are learning experiences. No one can get through life without learning things the hard way, it is only easy if you've not worked for it. Sure some of us may come off as lucky in life, but we only see the positive outcome, instead of the blood, sweat, and tears it took them to be where they are today. There will come a time when I will tell my story of how I made it, and I look forward to that, because I want to inspire others who right now think that their dreams aren't big enough, or they won't see them come true. Well I am living proof that it is not easy, it's hard as you could imagine it would be, but that is what makes it worth it in the end. It doesn't matter how hard you tried, but didn't make it, at least you tried, and now you won't have to live with the "what ifs" and be married to a lifelong relationship filled with regrets. I know that if I don't make it where I envision myself to be in the end it will hurt my heart to no end, but I really don't want to see what my life would have been like if I never tried.
Hope is on the horizon, you only need to look out beyond the edge of reality, and then to the stars; you only need to look up. Never set limitations, expect no less of yourself, just believe it will happen, and always dream big.