Determination

Life is quirky at times, at least mine is. I have so many irons in the fire, I'll end up with third degree burns before I know it. But I'm not one to put out a fire just yet. In fact, I'll play with that bad boy. I like a challenge, a test of my own free will, if I'm so inclined to do so. Example, what am I willing to do in order to achieve my goals. I push myself to the very breaking point. I work hard, play harder. I set myself a proper pace in which to work from, then I do everything in my power to finish what I've started. But I won't just start and finish. I beat myself into submission, and make myself repetitively go over something until it's perfect. Take my first book for instance. I have been working on this for almost five years. I have torn it upside down, have had others edit it, and they gave it a makeover so to speak. But was it for the better? And now I truly feel that I've lost my voice within the first few chapters. My biggest problem then, was sentence structure and grammar. Now after all these years, I have decided that I'm going to put back what had been removed, and then regain my voice that sea witch stole from me. Not the actual person, but the person that I was trying to be. I'm not like every other writer out there. I am simply me, just as they are them. We all have our unique voices, and we are the only ones with the power to control it. I wish I could go back to save myself from that time in my life where I was lost. Where my only true guidance was listening to everyone else, instead of what my inner voice was telling me. Now it's up to me to spear the monster, and rescue my voice. I alone can be the heroine of my own story. One day, when I have regained complete control over my own happy ending, I will live the dream I have always wanted. Until then, I will vanquish any advisory that gets in my way, even if I become the enemy. And I will write my own destiny...