For the past few hours I have been trying to come up with a topic to write about for today’s column. However, after posting an image of my cat Wulf, and myself in the mirror this morning; I was finally inspired with what to write about.
Lately I have been posting a lot of professional images on social media to drum up some paying modeling gigs. I have also posted a few selfie images to share how proud I am of myself for losing weight, and getting closer to my body image goal. I would prefer for the professional images to have more of a response than what I have had with the selfies; simply because I think they deserve more attention so to speak. I do not have very many professional nude images, not yet anyway because I felt I was too heavy to share them. The ones I have shared were wonderfully done, and taken by my favorite photographer, Bob Cassady; I have never felt too heavy when working with him. When I was heavier; I didn’t receive as much enthusiasm from other photographers willing to work with me. Which I accepted, but it still hurt my feelings, and I didn’t want to feel that way anymore. I knew I had to make a change for myself.
After nearly a year of walking, and working out; I have almost achieved my body goal. I have since then been asked by more photographers to model for them than I had in the past. At my age that makes me feel better about myself because I feel a constant struggle within myself to be perfect. After all, I feel as though I am in competition with other women who are half my age. When I see model calls they always seem to cap off at age thirty to thirty-five, and I have passed those numbers. I don’t feel that I look older, and I don’t feel older. I know I can easily pass for thirty. But is that enough, or is an accurate number only considered? Why is the appearance of youth only interesting? Women are beautiful at any age, but in my opinion, I believe a woman at a certain maturity level carries with her a sensual wisdom that only they can convey. As innocence can only be conveyed by the youth. More importantly, strength, confidence, and a women’s spirit is shown as the most beautiful at any age.
I feel more confident than I ever have been in a long time, and I am honored for any photographer who is willing to work with me. I enjoy what I do because it is so similar in comparison to acting, which is my first love of course, and to be a part of something that allows you to play any character is a wonderful experience for me. I honestly couldn’t imagine a more rewarding professional that is quite possibly as equal to acting in which I enjoy, and to be as fortunate to work with such incredibly talented visionaries. I cannot wait to continue on this new aspect of my life, and I couldn’t do it without all of those who have supported me through this journey. Thank you.
The journey to self-confidence begins with you. Accept who you are, or change what you don’t like, but you have to be the one who makes that decision. Believe that change is growth in order to become a better version of yourself, and always dream big.