Have you ever had a passion about something so strong that it felt as if it would consume you? I feel that way constantly. As a writer, it comes in waves; one minute it seems as though sand is whirling around in my head, and then the next minute a tidal wave is crashing down. I honestly never know when the words will come naturally as I prefer forcing them to bend to my every whim. What makes this interesting is that I feel equally as passionate about acting as I do writing. Unfortunately, I have no choice as to when I can act, because I have to wait for the opportunity to arise when my efforts of submitting for roles come in. Sure I can stand in front of a mirror, record myself, or even step outside in the middle of a busy shopping mall and act away until my little heart is content; or they take me to jail, whichever comes first. The point is that as an actor, being on a set, meeting others sharing the same dreams, and learning by watching other seasoned actors in the business is priceless to me; but I cannot crash just any tv, or movie set, (they frown on that, and there's also that jail thing again), I have to wait for the call. As a writer, there's no waiting, no one to call or email when you can show up and work; you can simply sit wherever, and whenever you like to write what you want to. As far as living to survive, one pays when you get work of course, but the other only comes when hard work is put to the final test, and you submit your work. It doesn't mean you'll land an agent, and a book deal to die for right away, it just means you're one step closer. As far as the acting career, it is very similar to being a writer; it's a lot of hard work and dedication, but even if you land an agent, it doesn't mean the role of a lifetime lands in your lap, again it just means you're one step closer. To me, one step closer to either one of my dreams is not only an achievement; it helps me believe that if I keep going and I don't stop I will make it. One way, or another, I will make it.
I have had doubts, trust me, lots of them, but I look at myself in the mirror, I'm not getting any younger, and I can't turn back now, I've come too far to let my dreams go the way of the Dodo.
Giving up what I'm working hard for would not only be devastating, but to others who have stood by me, and struggled along with me; I can't let them down. Why should I let myself down too? I have certain things that I utilize to exercise my positive thinking I order to shrink the negative parts so I can fit into my favorite pair of goals. First thing I do is to focus on the love I feel for writing and acting, I hold onto that feeling, and make a list in my head of all the things I love about them. Then I make sure I am constantly working on my crafts in one way or another. My Dream Big column keeps my writing in good condition by word repetitions, and my Dream Big show allows for my acting to stay in top form by memorizing my lines, learning stage directions, and even standing in for myself when the directors, and set crew need to make sure the lighting and sound is just right where it should be. I personally think that Dream Big is also the biggest part of exercising my positive thinking by not only writing down my doubts and fears in order to see that those don't make me who I am, and when I'm with a guest who is sharing his or her dreams with me they are a constant reminder for me to always dream big. I am not only inspired by their stories, but inspired by their advice they share with others who are chasing their dreams. I am still chasing my dreams, and I want more than anything for them to come true. What I don't want is to allow those negative words to raise their evil head and whisper things of darkness, to lure me away from the light. I can't allow my light to be snuffed out because I let myself even think for once that I'm not good enough, or that I'm too fat, or too old, and what was I thinking, how could I ever become a New York Times best seller, or walk down the red carpet to the premier of a movie that I'm starring in. And that's why I exercise my positive thinking with words of I will, I believe, yes I can, and that my dreams will come true. No matter how scared I may be on the inside, I try so hard to not let that show on the outside. I will achieve my goals, and in the end I will watch my dreams happen before my eyes. This is what you tell yourself every day. This is what you live for. This is why you'll die with a smile on your face. You only have to believe that it will.
Nothing that you love comes easy, it has its price of hard work, but if you keep up with your exercises it will benefit your overall health. So get out there, break a sweat, and always dream big.