In the race to success it seems as though I'm taking baby steps to the finish line, and everyone else is passing me by. I wonder if I'll ever catch up.
The times have changed tremendously, since the power of the Internet has arrived on the scene. With that I have been able to open my own website store to sell my 8'10 prints, and the first day I was opened I sold 5. I was ecstatic. I'm also able to sell digital prints by request only. I'm not at my end result by no means, but it's a start.
I've also added a new blog to my website. It's the sister to my Dream Big column, called, Dreams in the Night, and it's the uncut, in your face attitude in which I lay out my voice for all to hear. I also will write random inspirational pieces, or whatever comes to mind. I will only post on a weekly basis, just as I do with my column, simply because I have to manage my time accordingly.
I've been able to balance all my other endeavors to the best of my ability, which has begun to slowly pay off. I've had a few of my articles published in some pin up magazines, one that my modeling pictures are featured in, and a few in another magazine. I'm thrilled that more of my words will be read than ever before.
I know my goals can be a tall drink of water, but I'm quenching my thirst the best way I know how. I'm working hard to achieve all the things, no matter how impossible they seem to be at this very moment. Even though I'm constantly exorcizing my inner demons, and at times possessed by my own fears, I make sure to keep calm, and stay in the salt circle.
I don't want to be controlled by self-doubt, but sometimes it's hard to keep pushing forward when I'm dragged back down by unforeseen circumstances. The constant struggle to survive weighs heavy on my heart, which makes it difficult to stay positive that things will get better. I feel at times like a sad little cartoon with my own dark cloud that follows me, and striking me with lightening every time I turn around.
They say there is a silver lining in every cloud, and after the storm, a beautiful rainbow appears. Whether it's a sign of good luck to come, but I've yet to find my pot of gold. I want to believe that change is just on the other side, but my house is still spinning out of control. I'm not sure where I'll land, but I know that I'm not where I'm supposed to be.
The road ahead may be paved in gold, but if my feet don't touch the ground soon I'm going to keep flying away in circles. Maybe, if I click my heels together I'll find my way home when I'm feeling lost.
Until then, I'll have to wait for the wizard to gift me with a trinket to have courage to keep fighting, believe in my heart that it can happen, and to dream big that it will all come true.