What are dreams made of? I ask myself this very question every day when I awaken. As I role out of my bed wiping the sleep from my eyes and stagger into the bathroom, I wonder if today will be the day. As I let the water spray down over my flesh, I imagine all of my worries and fears of failure wash down the drain. And tomorrow when I step into my shower, I will linger a little bit longer to wash away yet another passing day of pain and failure.
When I believe things are looking up and I'm on the right path to where I'm supposed to be, I stumble and fall. My knees are scraped and my ego is bruised, but I slowly come to my feet and wipe the blood away. Today was one of those days where no matter how much I tried, the blood won't come off and the pain still lingers.
If I had the chance for a do-over I would do it right now. I would erase all of my mistakes, and try again in order to put myself at best where I should be. My life is so chaotic and so challenging, it takes everything I have inside me to want to get out of the bed and function on a daily basis. I feel like I'm on the verge of losing everything I have including myself.
I want to believe that things will really happen for me, but everyday I have reasonable doubt that it ever will. I know I'm not the only person struggling out there, I can't be the only one. But when will I catch a break? At each turn, each step of the way I find myself lost all over again. It's like I'm lost in a perpetual labyrinth with no way out. I just wish the Goblin King would come and take me away.
As I keep day-dreaming and lacking the striped pajamas to wear, I'll have to settle for sitting at my vanity with my lipstick, and playing dress up. I don't feel I'll ever grow up and keeping my head out of the clouds. My feet may be on the ground, but I'm also out of places to run.
I wish, the Goblin King would come and take me away, because it has to be better in that castle of his than it is here in my own world. All I have here are my dreams, and they are just that, only dreams. No matter how big or small they really are.
I'm busy working on my blog posts. Watch this space!