When I'm feeling up, I feel very, very up, but when I'm feeling down, it's because somebody put me there. I try to be the best person I know how to be. But what does that entail anyway? I try to be honest, I try to be kind, even though I'm not a vegetarian, I still love animals, but I don't think that's the point.
The point of the matter is that no matter what your dreams are, you should always be supported by someone in your life. Whether they are family members, your best friend, or a significant other, those people you accept in your life should support you. If they don't, it's their loss not yours. It's better to be alone than feel alone.
I know my personal dreams and goals aren't for everyone. Perhaps someone, somewhere that's reading this right now at this moment in time, is possibly sharing in the same dream as I am. If not that's ok too. What I'm trying to say is that any one persons dreams may mean the world to them. I know mine means everything to me.
My lot in life is to pursue the state of happiness I want I be within the next few years. I want to achieve my goals where I can make a steady living by being a published author. I want to practice my craft to develop the necessary skills to make my manuscript a number one seller. It may only become that in its own genre, but I'm ok with that. I want it to be number one to the person that reads it. They are the ones that count and they are the ones that will make a difference in the stories popularity.
One day I would like to be the writer sitting behind a table at Comic Con signing autographs, and watching cosplayers dressed as one of my characters from my book series. That's my ultimate goal right there. Now, the fantasy world in my head would see myself walking down a red carpet at my books movie premiere. But that's exactly what it is, a fantasy. That dream doesn't happen for people like me.
I'm not saying that to be negative about the situation, I'm just being realistic. Even literary agents will tell you that you shouldn't go into this writer's world thinking that scenario will happen. You're lucky to be a skilled enough writer with creativity coming out your backside to catch the attention of an agent. This industry is very subjective, and those agents work really hard to try and pick through the slush pile to find something, anything that they can truly fall in love with. It's like any relationship, you must love it to believe in it.
I do sit and wish to be that diamond in the slush pile. I've tried so hard over the years to make things happen with my manuscript, but sometimes I just want to quit, because I don't think I'll ever be pulled out of the vast throng of emails. But the one thing that I have discovered is that I know my story has a chance to shine. I just need to polish it once more. After pondering on the fact of some things that have been pointed out to me, I know it's an easy fix. The thing is, once I have it repaired will I have already missed my chance. Has that ship already sailed?
At this moment in time, I haven't an answer to that question. But those that had that spark after reading it, hearing my idea for its sister series, but simply was not there for them as far as strong writing was concerned. The real question is, can it be all there for them once it's been completed and put together the way I had intended it to be? I won't know unless I try. And that's exactly what I have to keep doing. I shouldn't be afraid of whether it will be accepted or not. My fear is the only thing that holds me back.
I must release all my self-doubt, release those individuals that hold me back, and I must look fear dead in the eyes. I am the only one with the power within me to stop my enemy, and I will prevail. Fear will not become my undoing, I won't let it.
I will not let myself down. I can't let that happen. I will carry on, and dream big.